When it comes to choosing your best man, you will likely have a number of questions about who they can, or even should be. One question that seems to come up quite regularly is whether your best man can be a woman. I spent some time researching whether or not this would be possible and all that would be involved if you were to decide to do this.
So, can the best man be a woman? A woman can be the grooms best man. She can either retain this title or can be called the best woman or best person. In terms of attire, she can either wear a female suit in line with the groom/groomsmen or wear a dress and something similar to the bridesmaids.
Whether you decide to choose a woman or a man, the most important factors to consider are how much they mean to you and whether they are a good fit for the role.
The best man plays an integral role in both the planning and wedding day activities, so its not a decision you should take likely, nor feel obliged to choose upon a certain person.
Let us now take a closer look at the possibilities of choosing a woman; including how to refer to them and the options of what they can wear. We will also be looking at some of the main considerations and repercussions if you did decide to do so.
What Do You Call A Female Best Man?
A female best man either keep the best man title, or they can be called something similarly related depending on preference.
For instance, some female best men are titled ‘the best woman‘ or even the ‘best person‘.
Ultimately, it is down to you as a couple and the best man themselves to come up with and be consistent on how they will be addressed. Both in the run up to the big day and on the big day itself.
Either way, its essential that everyone is informed and you stick with a uniform approach.
You do not want them to be addressed wrong when being called up to give their speech, for example!
What Does A Female Best Man Wear?
A female best man has quite the flexibility on what they can wear, so long as it is coordinated, planned in accordance with theme and agreed with the bridal couple.
At some weddings, the best woman will wear a female tuxedo or a suit. This will typically match the style and color them of the other groomsmen.
Alternatively, some best women choose to wear similar clothes to the other bridesmaids. This is more common if she is more close with the bride.
A third option is to wear a dress that is either similar in style, theme or color to the groomsmen.
Either way, what she wears does need to be organized so that she does not stand out and fits in seamlessly. But, it is also dependent on what she feels confident and comfortable wearing – both in terms of preference and personality!
Female Best Man Considerations
Before you proceed and choose a best woman, there are some considerations that you may want to take into account.
For the most part, having a best woman should not make much of a difference. However, there are some duties and responsibilities that it can have an impact on.
Let us now take a closer look at these below:
- Wedding Suit Attire – the best man is traditionally responsible for helping plan, coordinate or supporting the decision process of the wedding attire. For example, the best man usually helps pick the suit style, colors or any accessories for the men in the bridal party. For some best women this can work well; but for others it may be better outsourced to the male groomsmen. Especially if they are not going to be wearing the same thing!
- Planning and Attending the Bachelor Party/Stag Do – this is perhaps the biggest responsibilities of the best man. But it typically requires choosing who comes, where you go, where you stay and what you do. Plus, it also requires rounding up the funds to ensure everyone pays their way. Whether or not your best woman will feel comfortable doing this, or if she could disrupt the balance of the group are things to consider.
- Organizing the Groomsmen – another big part of the best mans role is organizing the groomsmen; from letting them know when they need to be at the venue, to keeping them together. Again, some best women are happy to do this but for the more reserved types it can be a challenge.
- The Best Mans Speech – which usually sets the tone for the rest of the wedding reception. There is a lot of pressure on this speech for being entertaining and safely joking with the groom. Whether a best woman can, would want to, or whether or not this would even be appropriate are to be considered.
At the end of the day, it depends on the personality of the best woman and your groomsmen. You need to think about the social dynamics of the pre-wedding activities and the wedding day itself.
Does the soon to be best woman know of, or are they friendly with the groomsmen. Are you having any groomsmen?
It is these things to take into account to ensure that everything works for the benefit of your special day.
Is It OK Not To Have A Best Man?
It is perfectly okay not to have a best man. You should not feel obligated to have one if you do not want nor feel that anyone is an appropriate fit for the role.
However, the best man typically undertakes a range of duties and responsibilities that you will need to consider delegating to the groomsman or other significant family members.
For example, the best man is typically responsible for organizing and planning the bachelor party/stag do. In their absence, you would need to inform and decide upon which groomsmen should look to facilitate and undertook this task.
Who you decide to have as your best man is entirely your choice. Whether they are a woman, a married man or even a younger child.
That being said, you should think carefully before asking anyone to be your best man.
Besides, it does come with a range of duties and responsibilities that will only be appropriate for certain individuals.
Reliability, attentiveness, and confidence are all such qualities that you should seek in this person.
In closing, choosing your best man is an ideal opportunity to honor a close friend or family member.
This person should mean something to you, or you both, as a couple. Whether that be a woman or man.
It’s the same for groomsmen too, by the way.
Your sister can be your best man; if this is whom you want to honor. You will want to consider how this may affect your bridal party dynamic along with the pre-wedding activities of the groom e.g. the bachelor party/stag do.
You can choose to have your daughter as your best man, so long as your fiancé is happy with this decision. One thing to consider is your daughter’s age; will she be able to participate in the pre-wedding activities and be willing and able to give a best man’s speech.
Hey, I’m Allison – a recent bride, an expectant mother and the chief editor here at Everlasting Occasion. Here I document all the knowledge and experience I accumulated while researching and planning my dream wedding and ahead of our new baby. Here, I try to answer those many questions couples have when planning their dream wedding, while equally, helping expectant parents ahead of their new arrival!