Deciding on who will be your groomsmen involves a lot of thought and consideration. Some people will naturally pick themselves, but this may not be the case for all. But when it comes to whom you can select, one common question that often arises is whether you can choose a woman to undertake this role and honor. I spent some time researching both tradition and wedding etiquette to find out exactly whether it is possible and how it would work.
So, can a woman be a groomsman? A woman can be a groomsman. In fact, the groomsmen can be anyone that the bridal couple decides that they want to have. However, there are some extra considerations that you will need to take into account if you do decide to proceed with a female groomsman. These include her wedding attire and her participation in pre-wedding activities such as the bachelor party.
Having a female groomsman is something that many couples decide to do.
While it may seem like something a little extraordinary, it is in fact very common and can work particularly well.
However, it does require a little extra planning to ensure that everything goes to plan, everyone’s expectations are set ahead of time, and that there are no difficult conversations or challenging scenarios that arise and you need to address on your wedding day
Let us now take a closer look at some of those other similarly related questions that you may have including, what would you call a female groomsman and what would they wear.
We’ll finish up with a few of your other groomsman requirements for your special day so be sure to keep reading until the end to get all of the information that you need!
Can You Have A Woman As A Groomsman?
It is entirely possible to have a woman as a groomsman. Ultimately, you should have who you want and this is an ideal way to honor those special people in your life.
Generally and traditionally, people will choose their relatives or close friends to serve as a groomsmen. While they tend to be older males, the age and gender are not something you have to take into account if you do not wish.
By definition, a groomsman is somebody who supports the groom during the pre-wedding activities and on the wedding day itself.
They have a certain number of specific duties and responsibilities to ensure that the wedding goes to plan and that the groom is fully supported throughout the process.
If you do decide to opt for a female groomsman, then consequently, there are some considerations to take into account.
Bachelor Party Considerations
The bachelor party typically takes place a few months before the wedding. It is a party given to the groom and is traditionally only attended by other men.
However, you can and absolutely should invite a female groomsman to your bachelor party. Not doing so would be a form of exclusion and would not likely go down well.
However, you will need to consider if she is first happy and comfortable potentially being the only woman in the group.
And secondly, you need to consider whether this could upset the balance or group dynamic.
Could it disrupt the plans the best man has pulled together?
She will ultimately need to be considered.
Therefore if you are planning on having a female groomsman, it is advised that you check in with the best man and the rest of the wedding party ahead of time.
Keep communication open and ensure everyone’s expectations are firmly set.
Getting Ready At The Wedding
Perhaps the other main consideration is where you will expect, or have her get ready on the day of the wedding.
Traditionally, the groomsman all gets ready together. This may not be possible or appropriate if you are having a female groomsman.
In this instance, she could either get ready with the groomsman but have her own concealed area, or she could indeed get ready with the bridesmaids.
Some female groomsmen decide to meet in the middle and split their time up between the two.
This could mean hair and makeup with the female bridal party, before returning to help the rest of the groomsman finish up getting ready.
This works particularly well if the female groomsman is close with the bride too.
What Is A Female Groomsman Called?
If you do decide to have a female groomsman, then it may not be appropriate for them to be referred to in the same way.
There are a number of other alternatives that can be used, including:
- Grooms companion
In other contexts, you may even want to drop the term altogether and merely have a ‘grooms party’ for everyone in the group.
You or she may even be willing to retain the title groomsman and be entirely comfortable with it.
Ultimately, it’s all about doing what you think is right and best, and one that everyone is happy with.
What Would A Female Groomsman Wear?
What a female groomsman will wear will depend on the preferences of you as a couple, the theme of your wedding, and what she is ultimately confident and comfortable with.
In regards to colors, some couples choose to have their female groomsman match the rest of the men in the bridal party.
Whereas others choose that they match the bridesmaids.
In fact, there is no reason why you could not attempt to marry the two; so the same dress as the bridesmaids yet the same colors as the male groomsmen.
Regarding the specifics of what she could wear, the below options are advised:
- Suit or Tuxedo – the same as the rest of the fellow groomsmen.
- Dress – in a color or style matching the wedding theme and/or accessories of the fellow groomsmen. Alternatively, she can wear something completely different that makes her stand out.
Whatever option you go with, just make sure that everyone is color-coordinated, matches the theme of your wedding, and is fully happy and satisfied with what they are going to wear.
Additionally, if it means that your female groomsman attends the suit fitting, or does it on her own, the key is keeping communication open and ensuring that everyone feels included.
Who Should Be A Groomsman?
When it comes to choosing your groomsmen, there are some general recommendations that you should follow to ensure you have the right people by your side:
- They are special and close to you,
- You are special and close to them,
- They are responsible and willing to take the honor seriously,
- They are organized and disciplined.
These are just some of the many qualities that you should look for in a groomsman. There may be more, but essentially you want to select people who you can trust and are dependable.
They do have their fair share of responsibilities and duties, and you are somewhat dependent on them to ensure your day goes ahead as planned.
This is why family members and close friends are commonly selected; it just makes sense and is an opportune way to honor your relationships.
How Many Groomsmen Is Normal?
The average number of groomsmen that couples typically have in their bridal party is 6 people.
This has traditionally been men, although hopefully by now you will have learned that it can be women, too.
How many groomsmen you decide to have, however, will depend on a number of different factors:
- Your personal preferences
- The size of your wedding,
- The venue of your wedding,
- How many bridesmaids the bride is having,
- How many people you know or feel are deserved of the role,
- Your budget.
Ultimately there is no minimum or a maximum number of groomsmen which you can have.
Just consider that without them, you are unlikely to have the same kind of bachelor party and wedding photographs that you may have hoped, and with too many, you dilute the honor, risk upsetting those you do select, and causing an imbalance with the bridesmaids.
It’s all about balance, and keeping within an appropriate range; for your circumstances.
You can certainly have a woman as your groomsman. Like you can have a male bridesmaid.
In fact, these arrangements can work particularly well and is a great way to honor particular people in your bridal party.
However, in doing so there are some considerations that you will need to take into account, namely the pre-wedding activities (including the bachelor party) and the wedding day itself.
So long as you are open, communicate clearly and ensure that everyone is happy, comfortable, and feeling included; you can definitely make it work.
But what she decides to wear, and whether you continue to call her a groomsman (or opt for something different) are other matters entirely.
Hey, I’m Allison – a bride-to-be and the chief editor here at Everlasting Occasion. Here I document all the knowledge and experience I have accumulated since researching for my wedding over two years ago. I try to answer those many questions couples have when planning their dream wedding.