As father of the groom, naturally, you are going to have a lot of questions about your role and the expectations of you on your son’s big day. But what about the speeches? Are you expected to say a few words, or is this something that doesn’t typically fall your way? Can you give a speech, if you want to, even? Well, here is all you are going to need to know.
So, does the father of the groom give a speech? The father of the groom does not traditionally give a speech. Instead, only the father of the bride is typically expected to do so from a parental standpoint. However, giving a speech as the father of the groom is something that has gained a lot of popularity over the last few years and is something that can be arranged if desired by all parties involved.
Being asked by your son to give a father of the groom speech is an incredible honor.
Not only because it’s not as traditional to give one but because it allows you to step up to the plate and share your love, thoughts, and feelings for your son, and his new wife, on one of the biggest days of his life.
So, if you have been asked to give a speech as the father of the groom, or you want to know if you can step forward, keep reading to find out all you need to know about this very special part of the wedding.
Do You Have To Give A Speech A The Father Of The Groom?
You do not have to give a speech as father of the groom, particularly if you have not been asked to do so. However, you may want to consider accepting the invite or even suggesting a speech if you want to do so. It’s an opportunity to say a few kind words, thank yous, and welcome the bride into the family.
Traditionally, the father of the bride, the best man, and the maid of honor give a speech at a wedding.
So, if you have been asked to stand up alongside these other important people to the couple, you can take this request as not only a great honor but also a compliment to how the bride and groom see you as an important part of their day.
Weddings have slowly been breaking tradition, especially as family setups have become less and less traditional with the addition of same-sex weddings.
Grooms also have less to look forward to at their wedding, aside from the pleasure of marrying their partner, so the boom of the father of the groom speeches has given the groom something more to look forward to on his big day.
But what if speeches turn you into a bit of a melted nervous mess?
The last thing you want to do is let down the groom by either not giving a speech at all or making a real ham of your speech.
Honestly, being nervous about public speaking is more common than you think.
Especially when you are standing up in front of a crowd that has high hopes for your speech and the laughs and tears it may produce.
Here are some tips to help you give the best speech you possibly can.
- Practice a lot (and practice in front of people)
- Become familiar with the wedding venue
- Keep the drinking to a minimum – slurred speeches = embarrassing speeches
- Choose someone to stand with you who can help give your speech or just provide support
- Record your speech if you really don’t want to stand up in front of a live crowd
Sometimes all it takes is a deep breath and a focal point in the room, and your speech will go swimmingly.
Many speech givers worry about the crowds reacting but remember; this speech is to your son.
Focus on him and what you want to say to him when you are writing your speech.
If the worst comes and you really can’t give a father of the groom speech, you can always ask someone to stand up in your place.
When May A Father Of The Groom Give A Speech?
Fathers of the grooms are generally expected to give their wedding speech at the same time as all the other speeches. The speech portion of a wedding is usually somewhere between the first course of the wedding dinner and the start of the evening’s party.
However, the actual order of the speeches can differ depending on how the bride and groom have organized their wedding.
Every wedding is different; just like the couple, it is organized around.
You may find the speeches are spoken before the meal even begins, or some people like to include some of the speeches in their actual wedding ceremony.
Traditionally, the father of the bride stands up first, followed by the best man.
So, if you are giving a father of the groom speech and the wedding is fairly traditional, you can expect to be nestled neatly in between the first and the second speech.
How Long Should A Father Of The Groom Speech Be?
A father of the grooms speech typically lasts around 4 or 5 minutes; this appears to be the sweet spot. This will keep the speech relatively short and snappy while still including all the important things you want to say.
Even if you think your 15-minute long speech is full of jokes, heartwarming memories, and wishes for the couple’s future, it will still be too long.
As much as everyone loves a good speech, you have to consider the guests who have to sit through several other (likely longer speeches too).
Besides, they’ll also want to have a good dance, chat with the new couple, and join in any of the entertainment that has been booked.
What Does The Father Of The Groom Say In His Speech?
The hardest bit about a father of the groom speech is usually the writing.
That blank page can be incredibly overwhelming, but if you get started early, you’ll have lots of time to tinker with the format, the things you want to say, and how you are going to say them.
Here are some of the things you should consider including in your father of the groom’s speech.
Weddings can be a grand affair, which means a lot of people who you don’t know and may not know you. Make sure you introduce yourself to the audience just for the people who don’t recognize you.
All The Thank You’s
Starting your speech can be a bit tricky, so it can help to alleviate some of that pressure by using the beginning of your speech to thank the father of the bride, who may have given his speech just before you.
You can use this moment to also thank the wedding guests for joining you and your family on this very special day.
If you want, you can also add a thank you to anyone else who has been a source of support for you, your family, and the married couple if you think it is appropriate.
Talk About The Groom
This portion of your speech will always be influenced by the type of relationship you share with the groom.
Perhaps you’re incredibly close and love joking around; you may fill this part with funny memories that make the whole crowd laugh out loud.
Or maybe you are both very comfortable with expressing your love for one another.
Never be afraid to show your emotional side in the father of the groom’s speech.
Talk About The Bride
Talking about the bride is incredibly important. She has chosen to spend the rest of her life with your son.
You can talk about how you felt when you first met, what you know and love about them, how they support and love their partner, and even add some little jokes too if you share this kind of relationship.
Welcome The Bride And Her Family
Oftentimes we forget that weddings are not just the unification of two people but the blending of two families.
Take the time during your speech to welcome the bride and her family into your family.
If you have some little tidbits of relationships advice, whether they are genuine or just added for a little bit of a laugh, you can add these towards the end of your speech.
Some fathers of the groom love to share a ‘what not to do’ for their sons as they take this adventure into married life.
To finish your speech, always raise a glass for the health and happiness of the new couple. Invite the guests to stand with you and join in the toast as well.
There are many different speeches at a wedding, but the father of the bride’s speech is just as important as the other more traditional speeches.
Although there are no specific rules when it comes to giving wedding speeches, the best piece of advice anyone can give you is to not fly by the seat of your pants.
Take time to craft a speech that will go straight to the heart.
This is your chance to say the things you may usually shy away from in a regular day setting.
However you decide to approach your father of the groom speech, you’ve got this.
The father of the groom does not need to give a speech.
In fact, it’s only up until recently that they started to become popular.
Before that, and traditionally speaking, this was not a speech that was typically or commonly given.
But that doesn’t mean it cannot happen, nor shouldn’t happen.
Ultimately, it depends on the father of the groom and the newly wedded couple.
Finding out the requests, desires, and preferences of all involved (and long before the day) will ensure that everyone is happy and comfortable giving a speech.
Are you wondering who else needs to give a speech? Then my following guides may be for you:
- Does The Mother Of The Groom Give A Speech?
- Does The Father Of The Bride Give A Speech?
- Does The Mother Of The Bride Give A Speech?
- Does The Groom Have To Give A Speech?
- Does The Bride Give A Speech?
- Does The Maid Of Honor Give A Speech?
Hey, I’m Allison – a recent bride, an expectant mother and the chief editor here at Everlasting Occasion. Here I document all the knowledge and experience I accumulated while researching and planning my dream wedding and ahead of our new baby. Here, I try to answer those many questions couples have when planning their dream wedding, while equally, helping expectant parents ahead of their new arrival!