The speeches are one part of a wedding that creates feelings of both excitement and sometimes a little bit of fear. As the mother of the groom, your son’s wedding day can be full of emotion, and you may feel as though you want to join in the speech-giving festivities. But do you have to? Or is this even traditional for you to do so? Well, here is everything you are going to want to know.
So, does the mother of the groom give a speech? Traditionally the mother of the groom doesn’t give a speech on the wedding day. Instead, she typically gives a speech during the rehearsal dinner the day before. However, some mothers of the groom do decide to give a speech on their son’s big day.
Quite a nice position to be in, right?
It’s something she can do if she so wishes. Or, if she doesn’t feel comfortable doing so – it’s not going to be expected of her.
So if you are the mother of a groom and you’re considering giving a speech at the reception dinner or even during the big day itself, keep reading to find out everything you need to know.
Do You Have To Give A Speech As The Mother Of The Groom?
You don’t have to give a speech as the mother of the groom. Traditionally, speeches are the responsibility of the groom, the father of the bride, and the best man. However, some mothers of the grooms want the opportunity to not only speak to their son on his big day but also to their guests and therefore decide to do so.
You, as the mother of the groom, may have many people on the guest list who are important to you and possibly helped you with the organization of your son’s wedding, and you feel like they need an extra special mention from you.
This is totally ok.
Just make sure you have cleared your speech with the wedding couple first.
If the idea of giving a speech in front of possibly more than 100 people has you quaking in your boots, just remember that it’s not expected or necessary for the mother of the groom to give a speech.
If you do have things you’d like to say, you can pass those little notes to someone who is giving a speech to speak for you.
Why A Mother Of The Groom May Want To Give A Speech
There are many reasons why a mother of the groom may want to give a speech. She may want to thank their guests personally, maybe she has something loving to share about her son, or she may be the only parent.
Here are some reasons why a mother of the groom may want to give a speech on her son’s big day.
She Is His Only Parent
If the mother of the groom is her son’s only parent, she may feel the desire to support her son by taking up what would be traditionally the father of the groom’s speech.
Families look so different now and come in all shapes and sizes; this may be one of the reasons the mother of the groom’s speech has been gaining popularity over the last few decades.
Perhaps he grew up without a father in his life, or his father may have passed.
For whatever reason, it’s a beautiful moment for a mother and son to enjoy a magical speech from the woman who has loved him the longest.
Wanting To Thank The Guests Personally
Many of a couple’s wedding guests will be friends and family of their parents.
So, a mother of the groom may feel obligated to give a speech, even if it is just to thank the guests for coming and celebrating her son’s big day with her.
To Share Memories and Stories
Mothers always have the best stories to tell when it comes to their sons, and what better place to share these stories than during the wedding speeches.
Speeches can draw both tears and laughter and a story about that time the groom ran down the street in nothing but a diaper in the pouring rain is sure to lighten the mood and put a smile on everyone’s face.
Instead Of The Father Of The Groom’s Speech
As traditional as the father of the groom’s speech may be, some fathers of the groom just don’t have the confidence or the want to stand up in front of a very large crowd and give a speech.
Let’s be honest; chatting to over 100 people you don’t know can be super nerve-wracking.
However, if the mother of the groom is a little bit more extroverted and loves the idea of giving a speech, she can take the reigns and give a speech instead f the groom’s father. It’s not as traditional but just as heartwarming.
When May A Mother Of The Groom Give A Speech?
Traditionally, the mother of the groom’s speech is given during the dinner rehearsal, but more and more often, it is included in the wedding day speeches.
Although, just because this is what is traditionally done does not mean it’s the way it will go.
Some wedding couples decide to hold all their wedding speeches before anyone has reached their seats for the evening meal, even during the cocktail hour sometimes, or they may decide to hold off until later in the evening once everyone is fed and has had a chance to relax.
If you have a specific time you would like to give your speech as the mother of the groom, you can bring this up with the wedding couple; just make sure it’s well in advance so that things can be planned accordingly.
However, you may have to accept the decision of the couple if they have something else in mind.
What Should A Mother Of The Groom Say In Her Speech?
A mother of the groom’s speech is incredibly personal, and there are so many things you can include. Such as advice for your son – or his partner – thanks to the guests, perhaps even a song if you are musically inclined.
But, deciding what to prepare for your speech can feel like an overwhelming task when you are faced with a blank sheet of paper.
So here are a few ideas to get you on the right track.
Thank The Guest And The Brides Family
Always start by thanking the guests.
It’s a relaxing way of breaking the ice and helps you feel a little nervous about what you are saying next.
Thank them for being there and joining you to celebrate the day of your son’s wedding; you may even choose to give them a little toast right there.
Also, thank the family of your son’s bride or partner. Regardless of how involved everyone’s been, it’s always nice to recognize the other side of the family that is now joining yours.
A Sweet Or Humorous Memory
The best part of the speeches is always the stories.
There’s something about the art of storytelling that really sticks in the minds of people and makes a speech so much more interesting.
Depending on how you feel and the crowd that has been invited, you may decide to tell a cheeky story about him when he was little or one that shows how sweet and loving he is, even when he was small.
There is one thing to avoid, though. Make sure you don’t share any stories that include any of your son’s exes.
This is just a big no-no for the day he’s getting married to someone else.
Advice For The Couple
A lovely thing for the mother of the groom to share is advice she may have for the couple to enjoy a successful marriage.
This could be a funny ‘always listen to your wife, because she’s always right’ type of advice or something more deeply from the heart.
Just make sure that it’s all said with love and thought; anything that sounds overbearing or hinting towards how no one can look after your son like you can will lower the tone and possibly upset some people.
Give A Toast
Giving a toast to the couple and to the big day itself is always a clean way of ending the mother of the groom’s speech.
You can also use this last moment to close with a wish for the couple and the future that you may have.
A wedding toast is also an excellent way to close a speech because it avoids that awkward fumbling you may have if you don’t have a solid end.
Plus, everyone loves a good excuse to raise their glasses and swig some champagne.
Is A Mother Of The Groom’s Speech For You?
A speech given by the mother of the groom can be a really special moment for a mother, her son, and her daughter-in-law.
It’s an opportunity to tell everyone how wonderful you think they are, how much you love your son’s partner, and your wishes for their future.
However, it’s not something that has to be done.
So, if you are panicking, don’t.
The mother of the groom’s speech is something that still very few weddings do, and if your son has asked for one but you really don’t want to.
Well, you can always write your speech but get someone else to read it for you.
Wedding speeches are supposed to be fun, loving, and light-hearted. So, don’t let the stress of giving a speech stress you out. Have fun with it.
Are you wondering who else needs to give a speech? Then my following guides may be for you:
- Does The Father Of The Bride Give A Speech?
- Does The Father Of The Groom Give A Speech?
- Does The Mother Of The Bride Give A Speech?
- Does The Groom Have To Give A Speech?
- Does The Bride Give A Speech?
- Does The Maid Of Honor Give A Speech?
Hey, I’m Allison – a recent bride, an expectant mother and the chief editor here at Everlasting Occasion. Here I document all the knowledge and experience I accumulated while researching and planning my dream wedding and ahead of our new baby. Here, I try to answer those many questions couples have when planning their dream wedding, while equally, helping expectant parents ahead of their new arrival!