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Wedding Thank You Card Wording For Someone Who Didn’t Attend

Are you in the process of writing your wedding thank you cards? Do you have a list of people who didn’t attend, but you still want to thank them. Perhaps they sent you a gift, for instance.

Nonetheless, what do you write exactly? How different does the message need to be from your other thank you cards?

Well, here is some suggested wording and other considerations to take into account.

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How Do You Write A Wedding Thank You Card For Someone Who Didn’t Attend

You write a wedding thank you card for someone who didn’t attend in a very similar fashion, although you just need to alter the wording to ensure that you do not come across as sarcastic, ignorant, or ungrateful.

So, you are going to want to ensure that any mention of “attendance” is not included.

It’s also best to steer clear of the attendance topic altogether – there is no need to mention that you’re gutted they couldn’t make it, nor would you have really wanted them to be there.

That will only cause guilt, and perhaps some negative sentiment too.

Besides, they may have had a genuine, legitimate, and fair reason not to attend your wedding.

So be mindful, and only write what is truly necessary.

To be fair, you could probably do with the break.

Writing thank you cards is a lot of effort – particularly if you have a lot to do.

So, the less you need to write, the better anyway!

We’ll get into some wording examples in the next section.

For now, just know, that it only needs to be a simple message that is then personalized for the recipient.

It’s generally a good idea to write one or two out on a scrap bit of paper first to see what it looks like/reads like before you commit to your cards!

There is no going back then.

What To Write In A Thank You For Someone Who Didn’t Attend?

Here are some wording examples and ideas for your wedding thank you cards for any guest that was unable to attend.

These are just suggestions, so do consider adapting them accordingly – and be sure to personalize them as much as you can.

Wording Example For Specific Gift

This wording is ideal if you were given a specific gift from the individual/couple that couldn’t attend.

“To […]

We just wanted to thank you from the bottom of our hearts. Your […] gift is truly appreciated and we truly appreciate your genoristy for thinking of us on our special day.

Love […] and […]


To […]

Thank you so much for the […]
[Partner’s Name] and I absolutely adore it, and we cannot wait to [discuss intended use]. We’d love to have you over soon so you can help us use [it/them].

With Love […] and […]


To […]
Thank you for the amazing […]. Now we can […] It’s very kind of you and we will think of you each time […] We are truly fortunate to have [friends/family[ who know us so well!

Love […] and […] x

Top Tip: It’s generally a good idea to document all the gifts you receive, and by whom. This way you can reference them in each wedding thank you card to make them more sincere and personalized.

Wording Example For Cash Gift

This wording is ideal if you were given cash or a monetary gift of some kind (e.g. a prepaid card/gift card etc).

“To […]

We just wanted to thank you for your thoughtful and generous gift. We plan on putting it towards [our honeymoon, a set of,… for our house]. We truly appreciate your genoristy.

Love […] and […]


To […]

Thank you so much for your very generous gift! It is so nice to have some extra money to use to complete our registry and continue to make our home our own. We really appreciate you thinking of us!

Love […] and […]

Simple & Short Wording Example

“To […]

Thank you for being a part of our lives and thinking of us on our wedding day.

With love […] and […] x

Important Considerations When Sending Wedding Thank You Cards

The following considerations will ensure everything to do with your wedding thank you cards strike the right chords, regardless of whether you are sending to somebody who could not attend, or was able to make it.

Send Physical Cards

It is strongly advised to send physical, hand-written cards.

In an age where emails are endless and WhatsApp is the norm; anything anyone receives in the post (outside of bills), is usually treasured.

It’s an experience opening a card – and there is always the element of surprise about what is inside.

Then there is the artistic element to it too.

It also shows that you have taken the effort, time, and thought about your recipients. They’re genuine and more heartfelt.

Besides, their also keepsakes – especially to family.

Still need to buy your cards? Check out:

17 Of The Best Letterpress Wedding Thank You Cards You Should Send

Be Timely

It is strongly advised that your recipients receive their cards within 3 months of your wedding day.

While recipients will understand a bit of delay, any longer and the message is somewhat lost.

Read more: When To Send Wedding Thank You Cards

Don’t Forget Anyone

You need to ensure that everyone gets a thank you card. You don’t want to be in a situation where people/guests feel left out!

In terms of who should get a card – anyone who attended or sent a gift.

I would actually advise that you don’t send a card to vendors – unless you built up a special relationship with them, or know them personally. You are paying them for their service.

It is crucial you send cards to both sets of parents, siblings, and bridal party members too (maid of honor, best man, bridesmaids, and groomsmen).

Sounds obvious but it’s easy to overlook them!

Try not to forget anyone who could easily be forgotten – that long-lost auntie who sent you a cash gift months before the wedding day post!

Read more: Do You Send Thank You Cards To All Wedding Guests?

Tips When Writing Wedding Thank You Cards

The following tips helped me and my partner when writing our wedding cards. It may help if you were to do the same.

Be Productive

Your wedding cards are not going to write themselves (oh I wish they did!)

So get into the mindset that they need to be written, and promptly. The longer you leave to write them the harder the process is going to feel.

Plus it will also mean you have to write more at once, too.


In a spreadsheet or notebook, write down everyone you need to send a wedding thank you card to.

It is also a good idea in other columns to:

  • Document any gifts they gave you,
  • Record when their thank you card has been written,
  • Record when their thank you card has been sent.


If you have a lot of cards that need to be written, it’s a good idea to prioritize.

Start with those who need a special thank you first, with guests who did not attend last.

Priority should also be given to anyone who gave you a gift, too.

Devise a System

My Partner and I wrote our wedding thank you cards at the same time. He wrote his family’s and I did mine.,

It provided a clear distinction of who was writing what.

It also made each card more personalized, with our own handwriting and messages.

Be sure that you are both recording what has been written, however.

Write in Batches

We wrote our cards every day for one week. We did five each, per night.

This prevented us from feeling overwhelmed.

It also gave our hands a rest and ensured we could write in our best handwriting and didn’t make any mistakes!

Get Good Pens!

They don’t have to be really expensive, but they have to write, well, be comfortable and be dependable!

No scratching or ink running out mid-way through!

Be Specific

Try to make each card as specific as you can; personalize to the recipient and any gift they gave you and your partner.

How are you going to use their gift, what are you going to buy with their cash donation?

Be sincere and go easy on the jokes!


Writing wedding thank you cards to people who didn’t attend can be a little tricky.

But ultimately, what is important is that you show your appreciation. Simple sincere personalized wording is all that you need.

Don’t overthink it!

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