Do You Put Plus Ones On The Save The Dates? [The Etiquette]

Knowing whether to put a plus one on a save the date card shouldn’t be so complicated, right? Well, it can be! Not sure what to do? Here is what you need to know!

So, do you put plus ones on save the dates? You should include plus ones on the obvious save the dates. These will be married couples or couples you are confident you want to invite. However, in times that you are not sure about inviting particular guests, you do not have to include them. You can always add them to the wedding invitation later.

In reality, circumstances will determine whether you should put the plus one on the date. 

It differs couple by couple. Guest by guests.

And things can change quickly.

Budgets, venue allowances, and relationships are all factors that have an impact on your final guest list.

And remember; it’s always better not to invite than un-invite!

Let’s now explore Save The Date etiquette so you know exactly how to approach this first wedding communication. 

How Do You Put A Plus One On Save The Dates?

One guest’s save the date may look slightly different than another saves the date. 

As mentioned, the couples who you are definitely inviting will get their names written out. 

This will look different than a girlfriend who you don’t know if they’ll bring their new boyfriend or not. 

You’ll want to consider how much you put on the card, to begin with. 

When it comes to save the dates, less is more. 

Let’s talk about how to handle tricky situations. 

Invites With Guest Names

The easiest people to handle are the ones you definitely know will be bringing a plus one. 

Any friends that are married can be addressed by name. 

In this case, you won’t even write the plus one on the save the date. 

You will write out both guest’s names even if you are only friends with one of them. 

For instance, if you are inviting your friend Jill married to Dylan, you can address both of them by writing Jill and Dylan, Save the Date… 

Definite Plus Ones

There may be people on your guest list that you definitely want to give a plus one too, but you don’t know who they will bring. 

This may be people in your wedding party as it is pretty customary to give out plus ones to them. 

In this case, you can write Jackie and Guest; please save the date… 

There is a trick you can pull out of your sleeve for the certain people you will allow specific guests for and not others. 

Take this example. 

You may have a guy friend with a serious girlfriend, and you want to invite them both. 

However, you usually would invite Dylan and guest since they are not married. 

In this case, you don’t want Dylan to bring a guy friend because the invite is intended for a plus one if he’s serious. 

Sometimes people will right Save the date, Dylan and Sarah! Instead of allowing them to bring just anyone. 

This also works when someone, unfortunately, has a breakup. 

This limits them from bringing in a non-serious date and costing you extra money. 

No Plus Ones

Super easy! 

For the ones you are not giving a plus one or even not sure about, just address the card to the guest you are writing to. 

You can always add a plus one later to the wedding invitation as save the dates aren’t even mandatory for local weddings. 

This makes budgeting, finalizing the location, and other things a lot easier when you save some room by not handing out too many plus ones. 

What Name Goes First On Save The Dates?

Typically, the guest you are inviting comes first, and then their plus one. However, it is ultimately up to you, and you could write in any order that you want. 

Luckily, this doesn’t take much explaining. 

If you are inviting a couple you are equally friends with or have the same relationship with; then you can address either name first. 

When it comes to who name in terms of the soon-to-be-bride or groom, typically in traditional fashion, the bride’s name will go first on all invitations and cards. 

What Information Goes On The Save The Dates?

Save the date cards are essentially just a friendly heads up to all your family and friends that you will be getting married. 

They are not mandatory but are encouraged when weddings require more than a day; the location is a little farther, or you are planning it during a busy time of year like a holiday. 

However, less is always more. 

Here is what you should and should not include on your save the dates. 

Names

No brainer! But with a frantic bridezilla, it can be easy to make this kind of error. 

Make sure to include your name and your fiancé’s name on the card. 

It’s also good to nail down the plus-one situation to the best of your ability. 

If you have some undecided guests, use our tricks above. 

Date and Location

If you have the date and venue set up, then this is super easy! 

But sometimes couples want a specific date but don’t have the exact venue down. 

It’s better to wait until you have both, but sometimes couples will like to send out a date with a general location and specific later. 

In this case, be sure to let guests know the town. 

RSVP

It may be tempting to want to ask guests to let you know if they are coming. 

While it allows you to start the planning process, it can also derail your plans. 

When guests confirm so early, you could likely get several cancellations along the way and end up causing a mess both with planning and financially. 

Refrain from putting an RSVP.

Registry 

This is where a wedding invitation will differ from a save the date. 

Putting a registry on a save the date can be considered a little forward since guests will need some time to decide whether they can attend or not. 

If people want to buy you a gift early, they can ask for your registry, or the save the date can direct them to your wedding website if you have one where the registry link will be. 

Website

Putting your wedding website link with all the information is always a good idea. 

It allows guests to take in all the information and updates when they want. 

When Should You Send The Save The Dates Out?

While there is no exact date to send the save the dates out, there are a few general guidelines that you can follow. 

Over Six Months 

While this may be overkill, it is a good idea when it comes to destination weddings. 

If you are doing destination weddings that will require your guests to fly out for more than a weekend and be quite expensive, a year or close to a year is the most appropriate timing. 

This is because it takes extensive planning financially for your guests and is respectful of their time. 

You are essentially asking them to take a vacation with you. 

Six Months Before 

Typically, around six months, you will have a wedding venue is chosen and an exact date. 

This is just enough time to send a save the date card before sending a wedding initiation not too long later. 

Six months is good for the types of weddings that may require weekend travel for people because they may need to accommodate plane rides or take work off to spend that much time. 

Under Six Months 

While six months is a good time to send a save the date, it’s a good reminder that you don’t need to send one at all for local weddings. 

But as a courteous, you can send the save the date a little closer to the wedding invitation. 

You can send the wedding invitation around two months before the wedding and therefore even four months is an OK time to send the save the date. 

Anything under that time may not make sense as the regular invite will be coming along, and you will be asking for RSVPs. 

For more on the timing of this communication, read our save the date timing guide here.

Plan Accordingly

While save-the-date invitations usually require very little planning and wording on the cards, every situation is circumstantial.

When it comes to planning your guest list, it is better to wait for your undecided plus ones until the actual wedding invitation. 

This is for local weddings. 

When it comes to destination weddings, a different set of rules will apply. 

You will want to send them out a lot earlier and allow your guests to plan. 

Usually, in destination weddings, you can allow for a plus one since your guests may be bearing a lot of the costs. 

If you are bearing the costs, then ultimately, you choose who comes with the basis that married couples will be invited together. 

Save the dates in general are the easier of the two invitations.

And if you are yet to purchase your save the dates and are looking for a fantastic supplier, then be sure to take a lot over at Picky Bride.

They have an amazing collection; they’ve done us very well at least!