The preparation of a wedding and is sometimes more exciting than the wedding itself! The entire hustle and bustle, looking for a venue, setting the menu, and, of course, selecting the outfits are all unforgettable moments. One of the most important things to do for the bride is to pick up her wedding dress. Future brides usually start looking months in advance before the wedding date; and can you blame them!
The practical preparation of a wedding is very often surrounded by superstitious beliefs and traditions. These beliefs usually revolve around good and bad luck, health, fertility and the success of a marriage. One such example and commonly cited one is whether the groom should see the dress before the actual wedding day. I decided to spend some time researching if this has best be followed.
So, can the groom see the wedding dress? The groom should not see the wedding dress before the wedding, as the tradition rules. The saying goes that, if the groom were to see the wedding dress before the ceremony, the marriage will turn out unsuccessful and unhappy. Outside of tradition, it is much more exciting for the groom to have to wait; making the moment more iconic and special when the time comes around.
Of course, while it is important to be aware of said traditions, they are not something you necessary have to abide by.
However, there surely must be a reason why this belief arose and why it has been followed for generations. Perhaps a correlation as observed somewhere at sometime?
Either way, it is better to be safe than sorry!
Equally, if you were to speak to many married grooms they would say that it is worth the wait! It often results in a much better day for the bride and groom alike.
Let us now take a closer look at this tradition and answer some of those similarly related questions you may have, and breaking down this tradition further.
Can The Groom See The Dress Before The Wedding?
Shortly put, the groom should not see the dress before the wedding.
The iconic white dress plays a key role for every bride and is the main highlight, the culmination of a wedding ceremony. The bride has to feel perfect in it.
The selection process is lengthy and sometimes tiresome and many women can be involved – the bride’s mother, grandmother, sister, girlfriends and whoever else she chooses!
But why not the groom? He always seems left out of the process.
Why The Groom Should Not See The Wedding Dress
Let’s explore why the groom should not see the wedding dress:
The Tradition Rules!
It is an old tradition which says that if the groom sees the wedding dress before the wedding itself, this sinful deed will bring bad luck and eventually lead to an unsuccessful marriage.
It is even considered bad luck for the couple to see each other shortly before the ceremony. Many people still believe in this superstition and stick to it until the wedding arrives.
It Keeps The Excitement Up!
It is always nice to keep the flare, excitement and expectations of the future ceremony up and create a bit of a mystery around it. Keeping the dress a secret will make the moment at the altar even more special and memorable for the couple!
History And Meaning
On a more serious note, the tradition the groom-not-seeing-the-wedding-dress and even the couple themselves before the wedding, holds far less romantic roots.
It originated at a time when human relations were much stricter and practical. Marriages in the past were seen as a business deal between families and arranged marriages were the norm.
In that case, it was completely normal for the couple to not see each other at all before the wedding day. Therefore, the groom was naturally never able to see the dress.
By a business deal, it is meant that the girl’s father made sure to marry off his daughter into a rich family, so she and her entire family that comes with her can have a secure and comfortable life.
Since it was an arranged marriage, however, and not one that involved the couple loving each other, the father was concerned that the groom may not like his future wife.
A wide-spread fear was the possibility of the groom calling off the wedding, if he found his bride unattractive. That is why the parents kept their children from seeing each other until the very last minute.
An interesting fact is that the veil was also invented for a purpose. By having a veil over her face, the groom would not be able to see her until the very last moment when he removes the veil to kiss her. By that time, the ceremony would be long finished, the deal sealed and it would be too late to back off.
As arranged marriages eventually died out through the centuries, the tradition evolved into a much more romantic belief.
Nowadays, the purpose of the groom not seeing the dress, and even the couple not seeing each other before the wedding, is all about luck and keeping the excitement and anticipation at high levels. It can also symbolize the pair coming together to start their lives officially in front of their families and closest people.
Also, let’s not forget that each tradition nowadays is a personal choice and long gone are the times when the couple didn’t have a say in their own wedding!
Can The Groom Go Wedding Dress Shopping?
Nowadays, the groom is perfectly allowed to go dress shopping. In this way, of course, he will see the dress way before the ceremony.
Unless, you want to stick to the tradition of him not seeing the dress until the ceremony, the groom can totally go shopping for the highlight of the entire ceremony!
Also, maybe keep in mind a couple of fun points that may make you give up on the idea of taking your fiancé to a long trip around the shops!
- He May Get Bored – Your fiancé or not, men are not exactly shopping animals. He may not have the patience to stroll down many shops. Choosing a wedding dress can be a long and tiresome process even for the bride, so imagine what it would be like for a man!
- He may give you the wrong advice – Unless he is some fashion enthusiast, most men are not exactly high-fashion designers. Most of them have no idea of trends, fittings, colors, decorations, patterns, types of figures and so on. He may mislead you and give you the wrong advice on what looks good on you!
What Happens If The Groom Sees The Wedding Dress?
Technically, nothing will happen, if the groom sees the wedding dress before the wedding. The belief of not seeing the dress is based on an old custom, which has far more practical reasons than bad luck or misfortune.
Modern people have interpreted a tradition from the past to fit the contemporary world. The easiest reason to come up with is about bad luck, which would lead to a failed marriage eventually.
Other than that the excitement that can come with this part of the day is equally lost.
In the end of the day, love and honesty are the most important things in a marriage and seeing a dress beforehand is not going to affect the future of a marriage!
Tips To Ensure The Groom Does Not See The Wedding Dress
If you want to fulfil the old tradition and forbid your man from seeing the wedding dress, here are some tips on how to make sure this happens!
When you buy the dress, simply tell him that you do not wish him to see it in advance.
Wherever you are storing the dress, make sure it is covered completely; the cover is not transparent and ask him not to open and peek into the pack.
Do Not Take Him Dress Shopping With You
Another simple thing to do is just not take him with you when you go dress shopping.
In fact, its best that he does something else on the day entirely.
Store The Dress Somewhere Else
If you want to avoid risking him secretly open the packed dress in your wardrobe, you can give it to your mother, sister or a friend’s home for safekeeping.
Do Not Share Any Photos
If you decide to have a solo photo shoot with the dress before the wedding, do not share any photos on social media and do not store them on your phone. Save them somewhere safe or keep them with the photographer until the wedding day.
Get Ready In Separate Rooms
On the wedding day, get ready in two separate rooms to ensure not seeing each other until the ceremony!
To Sum up!
Weddings are exciting!
They are fun, they are beautiful, romantic, and long-awaited!
The preparation is sometimes even more anticipated and enjoyed than the ceremony.
Everyone involved does their best and makes sure everything turns out perfectly!
Choosing a wedding dress is one of the highlights of each ceremony.
Many traditions and superstitions revolve around it. One of them is that the groom should not see the dress before the ceremony.
It is believed that doing so will bring bad luck to the couple and lead to a failed marriage.
The exception is the shoes.
In reality, every couple can choose if the groom should see the wedding dress or not.
However, most couples prefer to stick to the tradition because it brings more excitement, flare, and anticipation to the ceremony.
It is also nice to keep a bit of mystery and maintain some suspense before the wedding day.
The tradition dates back from centuries ago when marriages were mainly business deals between families.
Love, romantics and emotional attachment did not have much space in the process, if any at all.
The families wanted to prevent any potential failure of the ceremony and that is why they prevented their children from seeing each other until the ceremony was completed and the deal sealed.
Modern people have adapted the custom to fit contemporary times and now it is about bad luck and misfortunes.
However, nothing will happen, if the groom sees the dress before the wedding.
Nothing can affect true love and true happiness.
Hey, I’m Allison – a recent bride, an expectant mother and the chief editor here at Everlasting Occasion. Here I document all the knowledge and experience I accumulated while researching and planning my dream wedding and ahead of our new baby. Here, I try to answer those many questions couples have when planning their dream wedding, while equally, helping expectant parents ahead of their new arrival!