If you are considering who to choose for your groomsmen, then you may have some questions about who they need, and even can be? One commonly asked is whether or not a groomsman can be married? Is it allowed, does it make a difference? I spent some time researching wedding traditions and etiquette to find out what is possible.
So, can groomsmen be married? A groomsman can be married, and it makes little difference as to whether they are or are instead single. Their duties and responsibilities are the same either way. The same goes for other members of the bridal party. For example, you can also have married bridesmaids in your wedding party.
Traditionally, the groom will ask relatives and close friend to be their groomsmen. Its a big honor, and comes with a range of duties and responsibilities – both pre-wedding and during the big day itself; so it is a decision that should not be taken lightly.
Let us now take a closer look at what’s involved with choosing a married groomsman. We will be looking at what we should call and refer to them as, whether a best man needs to be married and whether choosing a best man who is married is a good idea.
We will also be giving you some pointers and suggestions on whom the groom should choose and ultimately pick for the honor.
So, be sure to keep reading to the end to get all the information you need.
What Do You Call A Married Groomsman?
A married groomsman is typically still called a ‘groomsman’. There is no difference or formal way to differentiate between the two.
Unlike in some other roles, swapping out the name does not seem to work nor makes as much sense
For example, a married bridesmaid may be called a bridesmatron. Equally a married maid of honor is often called a matron of honor.
With the groomsmen, either groomsmatron or groom of honor do not work. In fact, they could even confuse their role and associate them with the bride.
For example, man of honor would imply he is in fact the in the ‘matron of honor’ role.
All in all there is no need to, nor benefit in calling a married groomsman any different.
Are Groomsmen Supposed To Be Single?
Your groomsmen do not have to be single; and they are not supposed to meet any such obligation to be eligible for the role.
Instead, you should choose your groomsmen based on a close relationship, friendship and with those you want to honor on your special day.
They should ultimately be the guys that you trust, respect, and whom you would expect to have a relationship with for several years to come.
Who Should You Pick As Your Groomsmen?
Choosing your groomsman may be a simple decision for some grooms, although it is more challenging for others. Some people naturally stand out and almost pick themselves, whereas for others it can be hard to make a decision on whom is right and appopriate.
In light of this, let us look at some of the considerations that you should take into consider when identifying if somebody is suitable to be your groomsmen.
- Consider family members, old and new – the grooms family members will likely and naturally be included, but its important not to forget about your partners family members too. It could be the brides brother, or it could be another close relative.
- Consider the group dynamic– your groomsmen will essentially be forming a team, a unit that is going to need to plan together, spend time together and otherwise get along. You need to ensure there are no conflicting personalities, tension or any past history between your groomsman that could get in the way.
- Consider reliability and trust – your groomsman will need to be prompt, willing and able to attend various pre-wedding activities and be there on the big day itself. You need to be able to trust your groomsmen implicitly and be able to rely on them to show up when it matters, such as the suit fittings and the rehearsal dinner.
- Consider the financials – while it is true that the groomsmen are expected to pay for most of the costs themselves, its a good gesture and sign of appreciation to either cover the cost of, or partly pay for their suits, an aspect of the bachelor party, any grooming sessions prior to the wedding etc. The more groomsman you have, the higher the cost will ultimately be. Consider your budget and what you can realistically afford. It is usually better to spoil one or two special people than spread the same cost across several.
Hopefully these give you some qualities to look for in your immediate family and close friends. But, along with these you should also think about the responsibilities and duties they will need to undertake:
Duties and Responsibilities
- Supports the groom pick the ring,
- Purchasing or renting their wedding attire, being willing and able to attend suit fittings,
- Supports the planning of pre-wedding activities including the bachelor party/ stag go. Typically does this working closely with the Best Man.
- Attends all pre-wedding activities, including that infamous bachelor party/stag do and other events such as the rehearsal dinner,
- Gets a wedding gift for the bridal couple,
- Books their own travel and hotel accommodation for the wedding day,
- Supports the groom as they need on the wedding day; keeping them calm, helping them get ready,
- Helps guests find their seats, answer questions guests may have, and interact with them,
- Stand by the groom during the ceremony,
- Optional – decorate the wedding getaway car
As you can see, there is quite a lot that falls onto the shoulders of your groomsmen.
So at a minimum, yours groomsmen need to be reliable. Choosing your nearest and dearest simply makes sense. Besides it is a lovely way to honor them and their place in your life.
How Many Groomsmen Can You Have?
You can have as many groomsmen as you like at your wedding; the decision is one that you and your bride will need to make. Although, choosing your groomsmen should take into account a range of factors such as the size of your wedding (number of guests), the venue, the number of bridesmaids, your budget and your personal preferences.
It is generally advised that:
- For a formal wedding with 200 guests, you should look to have between 6-10 groomsman,
- For a formal wedding of 100 guests, you should look to have between 3-5 groomsman
- For an informal wedding 2-3 groomsman will suffice.
Striking the balance between groomsmen and bridesmaids is advised; ensuring your bridal party looks balanced. Equally it helps with the dynamic of the group – especially when it comes to the wedding photographs.
So, while there are no formal requirements, and you can certainly have who and as many people as you like, there are some best practices that are recommended to follow.
Married men can be a groomsmen, as they can be a best man.
Being married makes little to no difference, their duties, responsibilities and title all remains the same irregardless.
When all is said and done, what is important is that you choose people that mean something and are special to you. It also helps that they be dependable, trustworthy and proactive too!
Just remember, you are not obliged, nor should feel the need to have a certain number or specific people as your groomsmen.
And the fact that they can be married, should hopefully make your decision that bit easier!