When it comes to choosing your bridesmaids, you will likely have some questions regarding whom they should and even, can be. What about for those who are already married? Can they be invited and accept the honor? I decided to research both tradition and wedding etiquette to find out for good.
So, can a bridesmaid be married? Bridesmaids can be married, and it is not a requirement that they be single. This is true for any member of the bridal party, including groomsmen and the maid of honor. Married bridesmaids are also commonly known as bridesmatrons. Either way, their duties and responsibilities remain the same.
While it is true that traditionally bridesmaids were chosen from a group of the brides relatives and friends who were unwed and of marriageable age, times have simply changed.
Nowadays, this no longer holds. What is in fact important, is that bridesmaids chosen based on merit; both relatives and close friends whom are dependable, responsible and attentive.
What really matters is that your bridesmaids are there during the planning, and on the wedding day itself, serving and supporting as best they can, and helping you and your partner have the best day possible.
Let us now take a closer look at some of the main considerations involving married bridesmaids. We’ll be looking at whether or not being married matters, and if it has an impact.
We will also be giving you some pointers and suggestions on whom to choose to be in your bridal party. So, be sure to keep reading to the end to get all the information you need.
What Is The Term For A Married Bridesmaid?
The term for a married bridesmaid is the bridesmatron. Thus, bridesmaid is the term generally used to refer to those whom are unmarried.
This classification essentially follows the terminology used with the maid of honor, whom is titled the ‘matron of honor’ if they are in fact married.
Should A Married Woman Be Bridesmaid?
Whether or not your bridesmaids should or should not be married depends on your preferences and how you think this difference could affect either the planning of, or the wedding day itself.
For the most part, it shouldn’t cause any issues or have an affect, but there could be some circumstances where it could.
For example, it could have an impact on their availability.
They may not be as willing or able to attend some of the pre-wedding activities. For example, if they are recently married, in the process of having children or have young ones at home, it may mean that they struggle to make all of the different events; such as dress fittings or the rehearsal dinner.
It is a bit of an assumption to make, but being single generally affords someone more time and more flexibility.
The second potential concern, could be a financial one.
Again if a bridesmaid was herself recently wedded, then it may have an impact on what they can afford. While it is an honor to be a bridesmaid, there is no doubting that there is cost invovled.
Unless you have the budget and you are willing and able to cover the costs of your bridesmaids, then this could be an issue. Or a source or potential conflict or resentment. Both of which you will want to avoid!
Can A Divorced Woman Be A Bridesmaid?
Yes, absolutely! A divorced woman can be a bridesmaid.
There are no more stigmas related to divorced women. In the past, divorce was absolutely unacceptable and a very rare occasion.
A divorced woman would be excluded from proper society and even marginalised for her failed marriage. It would be unspeakable of her to attend a party, let alone be a bridesmaid!
Times have changed and such prejudices no longer exist. If the bride happens to have close friends or female relatives that are divorced, it more than acceptable to invite them being bridesmaids.
No one will judge or reflect on the topic.
If you choose her to be the maid of honor but you are still unsure what to call her because she is divorced, you can go for matron of honor or the more neutral chief maid or principal maid.
Some people also opt to replace the whole bridesmaids term with brides attendants.
However, always remember that things have changed and nowadays you can do pretty much whatever you want.
Who Should You Pick As Bridesmaids?
Whom you choose to be your bridesmaids is a decision that you will need to make. There are no specific ‘rules’ as such, but brides traditionally choose their relatives and closest friends.
Below, we will discuss some of those considerations that will help you with choosing your bridesmaids, both the people and the number you should have.
- Consider your budget – Before you go out and ask all of your friends to be a bridesmaid, consider the potential costs involved and how much you realistically have to spend. Whether it be transportation, accommodation, dresses, accessories or gifts – there are several different ways each additional bridesmaid can cost you. Remember, you need to be fair and everyone should be given the same treatment.
- Consider feelings – thinking about peoples feeling and potential conflicts is one way to help reduce or include an extra bridesmaid or two. You do not want anyone to feel excluded either way, so if you have a big group of friends its either a good idea to include everyone or nobody at all.
- Consider personalities – your bridesmaids will essentially form a group, will need to plan things together, share the same room for getting ready and generally spend quite a bit of time with one another. Ensure that everyone gets along or at least willing and able to be civil with one another. If there is an atmosphere it will show and can seriously hamper the enjoyment of your day. This is not to say everyone has to be the closest of friends, but depending on personality types, certain people may just not work.
- Consider reliability and trust – your bridesmaids will ultimately be responsible for a number of different aspects of your wedding. You need to be able to depend on them. Friends whom never seem to show up, have drifted or appear to be distant may not make the best bridesmaid. You need them to be attentive or else it can have far reaching repercussions if any deadlines are missed.
Hopefully these give you some ideas of whom to choose. Along with these consideration, take into account the main duties they will be responsible for:
Duties and Responsibilities
- Supports the planning of pre-wedding activities including the bachelorette party/ hen night or weekend. Typically does this working closely with the Maid/Matron of honor.
- Attends all pre-wedding activities such as the rehearsal dinner,
- Attends and supports with dress selection for themselves and the fellow bridesmaids,
- Assists the bride with anything she needs on the wedding day; especially emotional support
At a minimum, yours bridesmaids should be your nearest and dearest. Those that you can rely on and want to honor with this special place on your day.
But better yet, having a bridal party that get along well together will ensure you all have a much better time.
Besides, any tension or arguments between either you, your bridesmaids or the wider group will not make for the day that you had hoped for and imagined.
How Many Bridesmaids Should You Have?
The number of bridesmaids you choose to have will depend on a number of factors including: your venue, the size of your venue, your budget, whom you know, and of course your preferences.
That being said, the average wedding and the average bride typically has between 3-5 bridesmaids. This is a good general rule of thumb and one in which you can follow for a medium-sized wedding.
For smaller weddings, it is advised not to have too many in the bridal party. Or otherwise this can disrupt the balance with the guests.
Some couples whom have smaller wedding decide to only have a maid/matron of honor, best man and a singular bridesmaid and groomsman.
This can and does work well, but if it is going to work for you will ultimately depend.
What does tend to matter is that you balance the bridal party; having an equal ratio of bridesmaids to groomsmen. Otherwise is just doesn’t look quite right.
Choosing your bridesmaids can be a simple decision or one that is much more complicated and challenging.
If you want to be more in control of the wedding planning process, less bridesmaids may be easier. Then again, you may be open to their thoughts and suggestions and getting them involved may be important to them.
But ultimately, ultimately, you should never forgot to take into account your preferences, thoughts and feelings.
You are not obliged, nor should feel you have to have a certain number of certain people in your bridal party.
And thankfully, if they are married or not, doesn’t matter (all that much)!
Hey, I’m Allison – a recent bride, an expectant mother and the chief editor here at Everlasting Occasion. Here I document all the knowledge and experience I accumulated while researching and planning my dream wedding and ahead of our new baby. Here, I try to answer those many questions couples have when planning their dream wedding, while equally, helping expectant parents ahead of their new arrival!