The flower girl is one of the cutest participants at a wedding ceremony. She is traditionally a young female who scatters flower petals down the aisle during a wedding procession – being one of the last participants to appear before the bride.
But, how old should a flower girl be? It is generally recommended for the flower girl to be between the ages of four and seven. Although, what is most important is that the flower girl is sufficiently mature and understands the importance of her role. As such, the flower girl can be younger or older than this.
There is no firm and strict rule on their exact age. So, If you have a girl who is ten years old and very important to you, then you can still absolutely invite her to be your flower girl.
Alternatively, if have a three-year-old in mind, you can definitely still invite her to be the flower girl at your wedding ceremony.
There are, however, considerations and recommendations. Based on a combination of maturity and getting that ‘cute’ factor.
And as we discuss in previous articles on this site, there are no strict rules for how a wedding should be organized.
Everything should be in the hands of the couple’ it is their personal choice and preference as to who will attend, fulfill roles, and the general timeline of the day.
What Is The Average Age For A Flower Girl?
The average age for a flower girl at most weddings is between four and seven years old. This is why it is the general recommendation, despite not being a strict rule.
Of course, there are always exceptions and it will depend on a case-by-case basis.
Nevertheless, her age is not actually the most important thing to consider.
What is paramount, is how she behaves and acts.
It is recommended that your flower girl mature for her age, responsible and of good manners. She’ll need to understand her role and be able to walk down the aisle without causing a commotion.
If you want your flower girl to be younger than four years old, you can always have an older girl accompany her down the aisle and guide her.
This is a good way to honor two girls, while also preventing your flower girl from going the wrong way!
You can opt for an older niece or an older daughter of your friends to do this. Again, think of a young girl who is mature.
Some brides also choose their most junior bridesmaid (junior bridesmaids are between 12 and 16 years old) to accompany their flower girls; this also can work well.
Either way, whenever you do your research, you are likely to come across recommendations that state it is more ideal, for her to be older than to be younger.
What Do Flower Girls Do?
The flower girl has one primary responsibility during the wedding procession at the wedding ceremony; walking down the aisle and scattering flower petals as she walks. She is the last one to appear before the bride comes and her dress traditionally resembles the dress of the bride.
In the past, the flower girl was actually used to signify the bride’s development from her childhood. The idea was that you could see the transition of a young girl all the way through to a woman ready for marriage.
During these older times, flower girls would also scatter herbs and fresh flowers to symbolize fertility and new beginnings.
Walking down the aisle was in many ways the symbol of a bride’s path in life.
This is one of the main reasons why the flower girl and the bride wear matching dresses.
In modern times, however, the flower girl is there for one main reason only.
To be an adorable addition to the wedding procession and a way to include a young girl who means something to the bride or the groom.
The duties of the flower girl can be summarized in a couple of brief points:
- She is part of the wedding procession.
- She walks down the aisle scattering flower petals.
- She is between 4 and 7 years old.
- She can be accompanied by an older girl.
- Her dress resembles the one of the bride.
- She is close family member or family friends daughter.
- She can attend the bridal shower.
Does The Flower Girl Have To Scatter Flowers?
The flower girl does not necessarily have to scatter flowers.
Flower petals are the traditional and perhaps the most beautiful thing to scatter, but nowadays there are other options.
You can give her colorful balloons on pinwheels or a bottle of bubbles to blow as she walks down the aisle. You can even let her walk down the aisle carrying two/three balloons (filled with helium of course) in each hand.
Some venues do not even allow the scattering of flower petals because of the mess and potential staining that can be caused.
If that is the case, you may have to come up with other options for the flower girl and get creative.
Also, be sure to clear this question up with the venue in advance.
How Many Flower Girls Can You Have?
Generally, there is only one flower girl at a wedding. However, like most aspects of a wedding, it comes down to personal choice. If you want more than one flower girl, then you can certainly do so.
As mentioned previously, you may even need more than one.
For instance, if your chosen flower is too young, she can be accompanied by an older girl to be her escort down the aisle.
It is for this reason that many brides choose to have two, or even three flower girls.
Flower girls are usually nieces, cousins, younger sisters, or in some cases or daughters of close family friends. Sometimes it’s hard because you do not want to leave anyone out!
So, go bravely ahead and choose as many flower girls as you wish!
In fact, it can be much more fun, if you have several flower girls!
How To Choose A Flower Girl
Choosing a flower girl may be an easy and natural decision; you may even have only one young girl suitable for the role.
However, chances are you may not know how to choose, or you may have more options available to you than most.
In this instance, it’s important to take into account some considerations to ensure you choose the right flower girl!
Here go a couple of suggestions of how to pick one:
Consider Every Young Girl In Your Family or Social Circle
Before you ask anyone anything, first take a moment to think how many young girls there are in your family circle and then your social circle.
Generally, it is advised that you look at potential family relatives first, friends second.
After that, consider how many you would even be willing, able and that you would want to have.
It’s much easier to make a decision once you have a number in mind.
While a flower girl can be of different ages, consider how this could impact your day and the procession itself.
Think about maturity, and if an older girl (over 8) could in fact be a junior bridesmaid instead.
Equally, too young a flower girl might be too nervous when the moment comes. They may even be fine before that.
So, you really need to think about the personality of each potential flower girl, their experiences, and how willing they are to get in front of a crowd.
Think about how well you know the young girl Do you have a pre-existing relationship with her? Is she already comfortable around you?
These things can be very important to ensure she is calm on the day.
Ask Her Parents First
Undoubtedly, you have to obtain her parents’ permission first before you ask her.
It is advised to do this first because you will not be able to proceed without this consent!
Ask Your Future Flower Girl
After you have her parents’ approval, you can proceed to ask your potential girl. It’s important that you find out if she is willing and able to do so.
Do not forget that your flower girl(s) is just a child.
You should make the day special for her and the whole experience memorable.
Start by preparing her a couple of months in advance of what behavior and activities are expected from her but do not put unnecessary pressure.
Make her relax and have fun with her role at the wedding. And do not forget to ask for her preferences. She may really love to blow bubbles rather than drop petals.
How Do You Ask A Girl To Be Your Flower Girl?
Asking a girl to be a Flower Girl can be a lot of fun and you can get creative!
Let’s look at a couple of different ways!
- Give her a ring pop and pop the question!
- Give her something monogrammed like a bracelet or a necklace with her name engraved on it. You can also include the wedding date.
- Give her a book about flower girls with easy descriptions of what a flower girl’s role is! You can also include personal notes inside.
What Should The Flower Girl Wear?
The flower girl’s dress should resemble the dress of the bride as much as possible. Of course, the dress has to be appropriate for the girl’s age and match the theme of the wedding.
That being said, the dress does not have to be a small replica of the bride’s gown. It can include matching elements or patterns instead.
For example, if the bride is wearing a tulle gown, you can choose a similar silhouette for the flower girl.
If the bride’s wedding gown contains big amounts of lace, you can include a similar pattern in the flower girl’s dress but in smaller quantities.
Another option is to match the girl’s dress to the dresses of the bridesmaids. Of course, fitted suitably to her age. A white dress with a sash in the same color as the bridesmaids’ dresses is a typical option.
Finally, do not forget the flower girl’s accessories. She must have matching shoes, a head band or a small tiara and of course, a well-styled basket to keep the flower petals in!
Who Pays For The Flower Girl’s Dress?
The parents of the flower girl traditionally pay for her dress as well as for her accessories. If she can afford it, the bride can pay for it as well or cover the accessories.
Generally, it is typical for the parents to pay for everything. If the bride wants to help, she can offer a couple of options of where to buy the dress from or how it should look like.
When And Where To Include The Flower Girl
Of course, she is part of the wedding ceremony. Here are some more examples of how you can include her depending on her age.
If She Is Too Young
- The wedding ceremony to scatter the petals.
- Rehearsal ceremony the day before.
- She sits with her parents after her part is done.
If She Is Older
- The wedding ceremony to scatter the petals.
- Rehearsal ceremony the day before.
- She can remain with the bridesmaids by the altar.
- Attends the bridal shower.
- Attends the “get ready” hours before the ceremony together with the bride and the bridesmaids.
There are quite few different things to think about and figure out regarding your flower girl.
To make the process a bit easier and clearer, let’s briefly summarize what this lovely participant in the wedding ceremony is all about.
- Who is the flower girl? She is usually a niece, a cousin, a sister (rare but not impossible, you never know) or a close friend’s daughter.
- How many flower girls to have – decide if you want one or several flower girls, depending on how many suitable girls you know and want to honor,
- How old should she be? Decide if she will be accompanied by an older girl or a junior bridesmaid (between 12 and 16 years of age) – the younger the flower girl is, the better it is to have a companion.
- What does she do? She walks down the aisle before the bride scattering flower petals.
- What does she carry? If flower petals are not allowed, consider other options such as balloons.
- What does she wear? She is dressed in a dress similar to the bride’s.
- How do you ask her? Obtain her parents’ approval before you ask her and get creative when asking
- What else can she do? Decide if it is appropriate to include in her in the bridal shower or the “get ready” hours with the other bridesmaids.
- Who pays for her dress? Her parents typically pay for her dress and accessories.
Hey, I’m Allison – a recent bride, an expectant mother and the chief editor here at Everlasting Occasion. Here I document all the knowledge and experience I accumulated while researching and planning my dream wedding and ahead of our new baby. Here, I try to answer those many questions couples have when planning their dream wedding, while equally, helping expectant parents ahead of their new arrival!